The Singaporean rapper once known as Freaky Z talks about his battle with brain tumour and the next phase of his life as a digital marketer.
“As a young rapper, I called myself Freaky Z. Why? Because my friends always said I was a little crazy. I look back on that era with pride because of the things I accomplished as an artist. But there’s also shame because I can’t imagine calling myself Freaky Z at 40. [laughs]
I grew up listening to all kinds of music, but there was something about hip-hop that resonated with me. Eminem was the first rapper I really idolised. Maybe it’s because I could relate to his story. My mom and dad were separated too, so I grew up with a broken family.
It’s actually because of him that I entered a rap competition many years ago. We had to rap like Eminem, and I won. The prize was tickets to see him live in America. I’ll never forget that experience. It opened doors for me as a rapper when I came back to Singapore.
The beginning of Freaky Z was also the beginning of my journey with brain tumour. I woke up one day and couldn’t move my eyes. It was so weird. I obviously didn’t know it was a tumour at the time. My optician told me maybe I was tired and needed to rest.
But when the same thing happened a few months later and I felt a slight pain in my eyes, I thought it was best to go to the A&E. I did some CT scans and saw a neurologist. Eventually, they broke the news to me that I had a brain tumour.
I was in shock, and I had so many questions. Was the tumour going to spread to the rest of my brain? What will happen to my eyes? When the doctor said there was a five percent chance of death if we removed the tumour, all I heard was death.
What’s really sad was the fact that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. My dad wasn’t around after the divorce, and I wasn’t close to my mum at that point. Even if I wanted to do the surgery, I couldn’t. I was only 20, and I had to be 21 to give legal consent.
During those difficult times, I used Freaky Z as a way to heal myself. As I continued to go for hospital visits, I made music to forget about everything. Even after my eyes returned to normal on their own, I leaned on music as a creative outlet to express myself.
I stopped making music when the tumour effects returned more than 10 years later. I was 34 and married with kids by then. Thankfully, treatments had become way more advanced. I underwent four stages of treatment – three open surgeries and 1 proton beam therapy – from the age of 35.
There’s no guarantee that the treatment will cure me completely. But at the very least, it might slow down the tumour’s growth. So instead of having only five more years of a healthy body, there’s a possibility that my body now has 20 more good years.
Throughout treatment, I really thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I was making music in my twenties, but what can I do in my thirties to make more money? I thought it was worthwhile to go back to school and shift my focus towards digital marketing.
Using my SkillsFuture credits, I enrolled in ASK Training. There, I learned new skills that could help me adapt to the changing industry. What I appreciated most about that experience was being under the tutelage of real industry veterans who knew their stuff.
I planned it such that I graduated from ASK Training around the same time I completed the final stage of the proton beam therapy. To me, that period marks the end of one chapter, and the beginning of a new one where I could look towards the future with newfound optimism.
Now, I’m servicing local businesses and helping clients develop a stronger presence online. I’ve helped companies revamp their websites and even created a TikTok account for a sofa company. I did a video for them that went viral, and that led to more leads and sales.
Looking back on my life, there were moments that felt very dark. I was never so depressed that I wanted to take my own life, but I did feel it would be easier if God took me away. I didn’t want to burden the people in my life because of my condition.
But every time I think that way, God reminds me why I’m important in some people’s lives and why I still need to be here. Even in my darkest moments, I know my job here is not done. There are still things I need to do.
Through all the ups and downs, my family has played a major role in keeping me going. My wife is someone who’s always been supportive no matter what I choose to pursue in life. She sees my potential to achieve great things, and that has helped me to strive for better.
Our three beautiful kids also gave me the motivation to keep on fighting. It’s because of them that I went through all the treatments. I didn’t want them to be fatherless like I was when I was their age. So now, everything I do is for them.” – Fazli Nasser
Interview by Arman Shah
Justine and Michael
What an emotional read this was. Fazli is a man of great strength and courage, sharing his journey with such openness. It must have been such a scary time during his initial stages of diagnosis – all alone, without the support and guidance of his parents. And to know that today, things have changed so much – with his wife by his side to give him all the support, and the love of his children too. You are an inspiration Fazli – turning an incredibly difficult situation into one that has the potential to bring so much hope to others on their own health journeys. Thank you for sharing. Justine and Michael.