The bassist of local band The Zelotones talks about marriage life, parenthood and the inspiration behind their song Merajuk.
Story first appeared on MajulahMelayu.SG
“I sort of lost hope in love after my first relationship failed. Her family was turned off by the fact that I’m visually-handicapped, I guess. When she found someone else, I had to let her go. I started to think that I might never find someone who would accept me for who I am.
My cousin was very sad for me, but she didn’t want me to give up. So, she introduced me to someone new. She used to attend school in Indonesia and knew a girl from the hockey club. She linked us up, and we started texting each other and chatting over the phone.
We first met in 2016 when her hockey team came to Singapore for a friendly match. We spent every single day together and started learning more about each other. We got married two years later, and today, we are parents to a boy and a baby girl.
I knew my wife was the one because she didn’t care about my disability. We also had a lot of serious conversations about our future together. She shared that she didn’t want to be in a non-married relationship for too long. She also wanted us to live in our own house.
After I told my parents that she’s the one for me, I started looking for a full-time job. I worked at a dine-in-the-dark restaurant where food was served by blind waiters. It was an inclusive environment. I worked there for a while to do my part in saving money for our marriage.
I feel very blessed to have found someone I could start a beautiful family with, but it hasn’t always been easy adjusting to parenthood and married life. At the end of the day, we’re all just people. Sometimes, our emotions get the better of us, and we argue like anyone else.
As guilty as it makes me feel, I do miss my personal time. I think any parent raising young kids can relate. But I never want my negative feelings to lead to something horrible that I can’t undo. You hear stories about couples separating, and I never want that for my kids.
Real life can be hard, and that’s the inspiration behind the song Merajuk. It’s a Malay song written by my band The Zelotones. We wanted a song about relationships, but more specifically, the relationship between a married couple.
Merajuk means ‘to sulk’, and the song is about an argument between a husband and wife. After the fight, they still come back together as they always do. That’s real life. Two of my bandmates are real-life husband and wife, and they can relate to it. So can I.
Music has been very healing for me. It helped me heal from the pain of losing my eyesight when I was younger. Your fingers know what to do, and I’m so relieved that I can still play the guitar. Even now as a spouse and parent, it’s important for me to still do what I love.
It’s also important to seek help when you need it. I appreciate the advice I get from my blind friends who are also parents. With their help, I found my own way of doing things. Like when my son started to crawl, I put an anklet with a bell on him so that I’ll know where he is.
My son is only six. I don’t think he knew or understood that I was blind when he was younger. He would grab my hand and run to the playground in excitement. I almost had to run with him. His mum would tell him, ‘Your dad cannot see, so you need to help him.’
He’s slowly learning. Now, he would hold my hand and walk very slowly. He would even say, ‘Daddy, hear my voice and come this way.’ I’m really surprised. I didn’t teach him to do any of that. Maybe my wife told him to do it. Maybe he figured it out on his own. I don’t know.
What I do know is that before I leave this Earth one day, there are many things I wish to impart to him and his sister. I hope my kids grow up to be kind to everyone, no matter their race or what disability they have. I’m in a unique position to teach them that.” – Zahier Samad, Member of The Zelotones
Interview by Arman Shah
READ: STORIES OF SURVIVORS IN SINGAPORE
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Justine and Michael
What a beautiful and moving story. It’s filled with such honesty, warmth, and quiet strength. I love how Zahier speaks about love and family in such a grounded, human way, and how music continues to be his anchor through it all. You’ve told his story with so much heart. Thank you for sharing it.